Dating in Peoria

Ok so I’ve recently decided to try the dating scene again. In this social and digital age there are so many venues to choose from.

Multiple .com sites and mobile apps. Then the old fashioned meeting by random chance or the occasional set up by friend with a friend of a friend.

So here I am. August I hit the big 4-0. Some friends married, kids, others still single and enjoying having the single lifestyle of the chase of the new and exciting.

Well so I started with the online thing. Sign up for my free account and begin filling out the questions. Body type? Well no 6 pack but can see my feet when I pee. Hair color? Well damn I’m going grey but shave my head to avoid seeing it so will go with pre-grey and select brown.

On to the interesting items. Describe yourself and what your looking for. Well…myself. How does one do this. I work in the IT field (computer geek), educated (nerd), like going to concerts (drunk), father who pays child support (broke), loves to explore (drifter), tattooed (wait what?)

Then we come to putting a picture up. Ok so should it be a suit and tie selfie on the way to work? Or how about the T-shirt and shorts shot when out with friends, or wait should I do the one of me hanging out and playing chess withy son? Well damn all three maybe.

Ok so all set up. Witty comments in the profile? Check, try and find something that will set me apart? Check. Duck face picture? Um no pass on that.

Now to see who might interest me out there. Flipping through the different profiles and trying to figure out do I favorite them and let them favorite me? Do I send a message to them? If so something simple like Hi? Or more in depth like, so you like walking by the river too? Somehow I don’t think there is a perfect answer and while thinking about what to say about the first person I see that I really like based on the profile information and interests I get a message…

Wow that was quick. So I flip over to my messages and read, “You look fabulous in that purple shirt and tie.” Smiling I click on the senders profile to find a rather interesting sight. A guy in a dress. Smiling beneath a mustache that I on testosterone would still not be able to grow. Shivering I double check my settings. Yep, I am man seeking a woman.

Delete the message and go back to continue my message to my first choice. I decide on something simple and start with a simple hello and ask her about her interest in books.

So now what? Do I look on or see what happens? So I take a few minutes to browse the other users. Smile when I recognize a few people that I know from places I’ve worked or at one of the concerts I’ve been to. Wait…a couple of them know me already should I message them too?

Nah I decide to wait. Rinse and repeat. Over the course of a few weeks had some great conversations. Laughs as well. Finally comes the time to see about asking one if she would like to join me for dinner. Before I know it I’m smiling we’ve exchanged numbers and have a dinner planned for that Friday. Very cool.

Next couple days we text back and forth and then that Friday we chat early and agree to a time to meet for dinner. She has a sitter all set up and we agree to meet down at Joe’s Crab Shack as she likes seafood as much as I do.

Shower, shave, check breath and head out the door. Excited and trying not to show it too much. I await her arrival just outside and look out across the river. Suddenly a voice says my name and I turn to see my date. Pictures were dead on. Nice smile, dark hair quite attractive. We say our hellos and make small talk about the evening warm temps and looking forward to a nice dinner after a long week.

I’m an outdoors kind of guy so we opt for sitting out on the balcony and order a couple drinks. Now first step. I let her order her drink first. I don’t mind the occasional drink but don’t need to in order to have a good time. Not to mention I don’t want to come off as a big drinker as I am not that. I have a rather strict rule about drinking and dates. Will not be a regret and will not take someone home when I have been. But this is a first date and I have no expectations of taking her home anyways.

Waiter comes out to take our order and of course up sell the specials. I tend to stay away from those ever since the movie Slammin Salmon. Nervous about getting fish that might be on its way out. So she and I settle for crab legs of different types. Share and trade to see which we both like.

Continue the small talk about online dating and admit she is my first. She laughs and says she has had a few. It was about this time when I see a gentleman sitting behind her with a rather amused look on his face.

Now I say gentleman but let me describe him a bit more. I’m a shorter guy at about 5’10. I’m tattooed yes but not a burly farm type nor bigger biker type either. He was definitely blue collar. Big arms, big chest, gut over belt, and trucker baseball cap.

So I go back to chatting trying to get to know one another. She comments about her ex, kids, job and as much as I am listening to her I start to feel a bit strange as I cannot help but think that this guy behind her is burning a hole through me with his eyes.

Our meals arrive and we dive into the food. Glancing over I see Mr Ballcap is on his 4th beer so I mention him to my date. She laughs at my description of someone I think is wanting to join our date as well as my discomfort due to him just staring. I try and describe what he looks like but instead she “accidently” drops her napkin and glances back to look for herself.

And it was right then with the look on her face and tone in her voice that I realized she knew him. “Co-worker?, Ex-boyfriend? Stalker? Ex-husband?” She shook her head no to all of these. “Current boyfriend?” Also a no. And with that in a joking manor asked, “Current husband?” Well dear readers that got a dreaded nod.

So this is a joke right. He has to be a bail out call of sorts. Nope she said she is having a great time. Was he aware she was out on a date? Nope far as he was concerned they we’re happily married. He came to surprise her while she was having dinner with work friends as he was supposed to be working later and was unable to go.

I had eaten about half my meal. Excused myself to the bathroom and left. Her profile was taken down after some apologies and a text that she would like to still see me when he’s out which went unheard.

Needless to say my first experience was not the greatest. But live and learn. Of course I’m dating so the next person would be different….right?

To be continued…