With two rather entertaining dates gone awry I decided to switch sites. Keep the same information and just see what happens. I browsed through a few but never made first contact.
Now this is the difficult part. To be honest I feel at a bit of a disadvantage. I read through profiles and read about all the guys that go about dating sites like the old joke about walking into a bar and asking every woman to sleep with them.
You would think that more people would take the time to read, process, and actually look for some sign of compatibility. I guess I’m old school when it comes to actually believing that a relationship is about mutual respect, communication, trust, attraction, and common interests.
Anyways back to this next attempt. This time I was contacted first about 3 weeks after registering. Looking over her profile I find, kids, in home care giver, various taste in music, honest, and wears heart on sleeve. Awww. After chatting for a bit I’m not doing anything and throwing caution to the wind we decide to meet the next day. Never exchanged number just a random he let’s see what happens.
After learning my lesson of the first two I opt for a meeting at the river. Simple walk, chat, and see if a more formal date would be possible. Casual outfit shorts and a T-shirt. We meet at the fountain by the water say out hellos and start our walk. Now, within the first ten minutes I was filled in on her six kids, she currently lives with a roommate who is madly in love with her but she is not into him. Her job is basically taking care of the kids and doing the occasional odd job here and there. Well at least she is being upfront and honest right? No drivers licence her exes apparently didn’t want her having one.
Ok so how do I follow that up? Looking back you would think I should have said my goodbyes and left. But being that her roommate dropped her off for an hour and a half with no way to reach him I being not a douche decided to at least chat. So we did. Back and forth about my job and living in Peoria Heights. Shying away from anything to personal instead reverting to trying not to asking her if she was looking for a relationship why would she not focus on getting things together. But its not my place. She sounds like things have been rough but again also not taking the time to focus on her. I won’t lie we had a good chat and when her roommate came back I shook her hand said I had a good time chatting with her and left it at that.
I got home. Settled in and popped on Netflix to watch a movie and fell asleep. About 2am my phone alert went off and I checked it to see a Facebook invite from her. Hmmm Ok no biggie and went back to sleep.
Starting at about 7 am the messages in the dating app and Facebook started.
Ok quick note. I have a distinguished voice. Most people that have met me have commented many times that I should be in radio. I’m not one to also try to score on my first date. If anything I revert to when I was younger at garage sales and my hands tend to stay in their pockets. I’m not a judgemental asshat who treats people poorly as I was raised with the Golden Rule in mind. Not a cheater as its happened to me and honestly if I don’t want to be with someone I won’t be.
So this being said I decided to log into Facebook and do a quick scan of her page. Comments of meeting the most amazing man. Ones about my voice. How respectful I was and how I was a perfect gentleman. Almost like she was shocked that there actually are men out there like that. Which got me thinking are there men like this on these dating sites? If not then on behalf of my gender I apologize for those men who don’t take the the time to get to know the women out there looking for something real. Again it goes back to self respect.
So back to this. At this point I begin reading the messages and am treated to compliments and questions as to when we will see each other again. Then apologies about being early but she couldn’t wait.
So being honest I just said I did have a nice time but I don’t think it would work. I was honest and mentioned my lack of comfort with her living situation. No licence and her living situation and lack of career or goals. I honestly felt like an ass but I had to be honest.
This was met with silence. Cool. She understood right? Nope as later that afternoon I’m sitting at the tower reading when I see her roommate pull up with her and all her kids. Two words, “Oh Shit.” Yep she brought all the kids to meet me. So smiling and not making a scene I said my hellos pulled her aside and rather nicely but sternly said I was not comfortable and she needs to leave me alone. Grabbed my things and left.
Came home and locked the door. Then the Facebook blasting began again. Now screaming how I embarrassed her in front of her kids. How I am just another asshole guy. And went on how I’m the first guy that was not just wanting to get in her pants. Then moved on to the pleading about seeing her to let her apologize and how wrong she was to introduce kids this early.
I was utterly dumbfounded. And all I could say was, “No. Its not a good idea.” And with this I blocked her.
The next couple days were quiet. Work home relax. Then I came home to find her roommate parked on the corner and she in the passenger seat. At my apartment. Alright now..again. I am not one to get angry however at this point I was getting that way.
She hopped out and walked over to question me rather loudly about why I won’t talk to her. Why I’m not interested in her and that she knows that she would be perfect with me. Again explaining that I have no interest as well as explaining to her that coming to my home. My place of safety without invite as well as never showing her or telling her where I lived was beyond uncomfortable. That’s when the roommate hopped out of the car and told her to get in. I looked over with a pleading look and received a shrug in return. She just stood there staring and I walked into the apt and closed the door.
Loud banging, knocking, and crying. So I returned and opened the door phone in hand and made a call to the local police to ask them to come by as I am having a bit of an issue. Explained yet again to her my discomfort and let her know that I will be filing a report of invasion of my privacy.
With a glare of hatred she quickly got in the car and they pulled off as the officer arrived. I never made the official complaint but thankfully she got the hint or moved on to the next guy. What ever the case may be I removed my profile from that site and will not be returning.
So to recap one that was married, one who drank me under the table and propositioned me for bill money, and one that was showing the signs of a stalker. Either way all I can say is wow.
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